Oh no, a Birthday Bash
by Flaring Emerald
Summary: Guess what? It's December 22nd and tomarrow is Malik's birthday! Yikes! Isis forces Malik to have a sleepover on his birthday. It's just a sleep over....right? Nothing could possibly happen...right? May do pairings. FINALLY updated!
1. It's my birthday?

**Disclaimer-I do not own yuugiou. All property of yuugiou is in property of Kazuki Takahashi. English dub names are used, but I personally think that the English dub names are weird.....**

Oh, and before I forget, Marik is Yami Malik and Malik is the good side. And I don't know all the dub names and I certainty don't know how some of them act in the dub. I 'm just doing my best with what I know about the dub.

/Hikari to Yami/

/ /Yami to Hikari/ /

Ok, on with the fic!

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**Chapter 1 My Birthday?**

"Well now, let's see....where did I put that book?, "Isis sighed as she carefully began to look for it. "It should be around here somewhere....

**BANG!!!!**

**CRASH!!!!**

**BOOM!!!!**

"What the, "Isis began as Marik and Malik entered the room.

"Come back here you fool! Give me the Sennen Rod back!" Marik said as he chased Malik around in the house.

"No, it's **MY **Rod!"

"What do you mean **YOU'RE **rod? It's **MINE**!!!!" Marik shouted while running after Malik.

Isis, "Wait! Don't crash into the..."

**WHAM!**

...Bookshelf.....my book! "The book came crashing down. Isis glared at them. "Well? Have anything to say before you officially go to the graveyard?"

Umm...well...AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! "Marik and Malik ran for their lives as Isis chased them.

"Come back her right now, you!" Isis said as she suddenly looked at a calendar and smiled. "Hmmm...."

/I don't like the look of her smile.../

/ /Who does?/ /

/Uh oh...she's coming this way.../

/ /Well let's run, then!/ /

/No wonder you're six years old, we're cornered you stupid Yami!/

/ /I'm not six! Oh wait I am six....../ /

/Oh brother.... / Then Malik broke the mind link.

Isis continued smiling...or wait, was that smirking? Well anyway, she approached her unwary brother and his yami. "Well look here dear brother, do you have any idea what day is today?"

"Well how am I supposed to know...wait you aren't going to flatten us?" Marik asked as he tried to look for an escape route. But they were cornered.

"Well, you never know, I may still run over you. And I did not ask you, I asked my brother!" Isis said before glaring at Marik. "So, dear brother, have _you _any idea what today is?

"Ummm....Saturday?"

"I was looking for a somewhat different answer" Isis replied.

"Uhh....December 22nd?"

Isis stomped her foot down. "Are there any other answers?"

"Umm....3 days before Christmas?"

"And what happens before then?"

"I have no clue...."

"You're_ birthday, _you dimwit! You're birthday is tomorrow! We can invite the pharaoh and his Hikari and possibly his friends and...maybe also decorate the house and.......yeah, we could have a sleepover! Malik, call Yugi right now and see if he can come! And Marik-"

"Hold it!" Malik said interrupting her.

"What, Malik, don't you like the idea?"

"Uhh...sure it's a _great,_ idea but do we really need to invite the pharaoh and his pathetic friends?"

Isis looked at him as if he was crazy. "Well, we don't have to....you can invite anybody you like, it is you're birthday after all, but..."

Malik and Marik jumped up. "YES!!!" , they both said.

"Ahem But I was also going to say something else before I was rudely interrupted." Isis said while looking at Malik and Marik meaningfully. "If you want to invite Bakura, you have to invite at least eight people of good or else he can't come to you're birthday. Besides, we'll need at least eight people to stop Bakura from distroying this place if we want this house looking as good as it does now..."

"Drat..." Malik muttered as he went to his room.

"And don't forget to make a list of who you want to invite!" Isis called after him.

"As if I could forget...." With that, Malik took out a sheet of paper and a pencil.

_Malik Ishtar's List of who to invite to my birthday that my sister unfortunately remembered about._

_Seto Kaiba- _Why:........

Why not: He is a rich person that cares about his brother too much. If Isis gave me that much attention, then I would barf. Plus he's really busy and I doubt he'll even come if I invited him

_Yami_- Why:.......

Why not: By ra, he's the pharaoh! I wouldn't invite the pharaoh if...if Isis forced me to sell my rarest card and make me wear a dress for the rest of my life! O.O Wait a second, I would rather invite the pharaoh. But still! He's stupid and thinks he is the best just because he's 3000 years old and once ruled Egypt! And plus, he cheats!

_Yugi Motou_- Why:.......

Why not: He's the pharaoh's damn Hikari! And plus he actually _likes _hanging around Tea and Joey! And...he seriously needs a hair cut! No way am I inviting him...NO WAY!!!!

_Tea Gardenar_- Why:......

Why not: She's a friendship freak! And with that, she's always "Friendship is the best! Friendship can make the world go around!" And plus, She's named after a drink. Ok, I am seriously not going to invite her.

_Joey Wheeler-_Why:......

Why not: He's just plain stupid! What's that word that Kaiba always calls him? Oh yeah, a mutt. He's just a plain old boring everyday mutt!

_Tristan Taylor_- Why:.......

Why not: He uses way too much hair gel! Plus he likes that stupid girl called....was it Sir. Enity? Though why you would call a girl _Sir. Enity_ is beyond me.....

_Duke Devilen_- Why:.....

Why not: He's a dice person! And plus, he also likes that girl Sir. Enity, too. Stupid, isn't he?

_Sir. Enity_- Why:......

Why not: Uhh...because she's most likely stupid. And plus, she's the mutt's sister. And her name is Sir. Enity....

"Oh, forget it I can't think of anybody to invite!" A very frustrated boy said. "Why do I have to celebrate my birthday anyway? It's not like I'm going to get a reward for it.

/ /Frustrated, aren't you?/ /

/What? How'd you get inside my mind without me knowing?/

/ /Well, I had to bake something called a "cake" while Isis went out shopping. I got bored mixing these flowers and sugar to create something called "batter" so I decided to see how you were going/ /

/Oh/

/ /And I have an idea that could work/ /

/Really? What?/

/ /Just put all of the people's names in a hat and draw the names out/ /

/Good idea! Wait a second....how come I didn't think of that? Oh, well, I'm going to get started right now!/ With that, he broke the mind link. "Hmm....Now I'll put the names of everybody I know in this hat and draw them out. Now who do I know?" Thinking for a second, he wrote all the names on separate sheets of papers and put them in the hat. He watched them drop down.

Seto Kaiba

Tea Gardenar

Yami Yugi

Yugi Motou

Joey Wheeler

Sir. Enity

Duke Devilen

Tristen Taylor

Ryou Bakura

Mokuba Kaiba

Rebecca Hopskins

Mai Valentine

"Well, I've mixed them up pretty good, if I do say so my self" Malik said.

/ /You think everything you do is good!/ /

/Shut up!/

Anyway, Malik continued doing what he was supposed to do. He drew a name. It was......

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There we go! My first fic! I know it wasn't really funny, but I'm not an expert at doing fics. I'll try and make the next one funnier! Oh, and please review! I won't go on with this story if nobody likes it!


	2. Why him?

Ok, I know you wanted to see chapter two, so here it is! Thanks for the reviews!

**Disclaimer: I do not own yuugiou or any of its characters, if I did the art would be horrible. And whoops! They don't call it the Sennen Items in the dub version; they call it the Millennium Items. Hehehe....whoops! **

Oh, and:

'....A thought.......'

On with the fic!

**Chapter 2 Why him?**

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"Please don't be pharaoh, please don't be pharaoh...." Malik looked at the name. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!!! It's not the pharaoh, it's...it's that damn High Priest......."

/ /Well now, you seemed to have drawn Seto Kaiba. Well, you'll have a fun time with him. If he comes, that is/ /

/What are you doing in my mind again? GET OUT!!!!/

/ /I am sorry. I am six years old. I don't know what "Get Out" means yet./ /

/Marik! Argh! Fine, you can stay here, just don't bother me!/

"Hmm....Lets see, if the High Priest did come, he'd drag along Mokuba along, too. Well that's two down, six to go. I guess I should draw the next one now.....

"Please don't let it be the pharaoh or the friendship freak.....please don't let it be the pharaoh or the friendship on ra....." Malik drew the next one. His face became paler then....Kisara's face! "Oh no...out of all the names in this hat I had to get stuck with that.....that Porcupine head! "

You mean Yugi

/Argh! I told you to stop bothering me!/

/ /That's the upside of being six. You don't understand anything/ /

/Grrr...Fine be that way! I'll just tell Isis that you were bothering me again!/

/ /0.0 Ok, fine, I'll leave. Sheesh! You try to have a little fun and your stupid Hikari ruins it!/ /

/I heard that!/

"Stupid yamis....out of all of the yamis in the world, I had to get stuck with Marik..... Well, since I am definitely NOT going to invite that...porcupine head to my party I'll think I'll shove this back in this hat and draw again. "Let's see...I got Yugi??? Uhh, I'll draw again. YAMI? Ok, that is really worse than that Yugi runt. I think I'll draw again.....What? Yugi again? What's wrong with these white things? I'll just put this back in and draw again...Yami? Grr...Fine you cursed white bark! I'll invite the pharaoh and his stupid Hikari! Happy?" Malik scribbled Yugi's and Yami's name as messily as he could on his piece of white bark. "Well that's four down, four to go. I better draw again, if I don't make this darned list by the time Isis gets back, then I'll be toast...."

"Let's see....next is...BANDIT KIETH? Holy crap! When did I put _him_ into my bag thingy?

/ /snicker/ /

/What? MARIK!!!!!/

/ /Hehehehe...../ /

"Curse you stupid things! Let's see, I'm not going to invite Bandit Kieth. Oh, I'll just pick random people. "

_Malik's list of who to invite to his damn birthday party that the stupid calendar somehow knew. Ra, why do you hate me so? _

_Seto Kaiba_

_Mokuba Kaiba_

_Ryou Bakura_

_Yugi Motou-Stupid flat white things!_

_Yami Yugi_

_Bakura_

_Sir. Enity_

_Joey Wheeler_

_Tristan Taylor_

"Ok, well I'm done. I wonder if Isis is done shopping yet?" Malik thought aloud.

"Come back here you Egyptian madman!"

"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Quit chasing me, will you!"

"I'll stop chasing you when pigs fly. Why did you put _flowers _in a cake?"

"Well how was I supposed to know what flour was? I've never seen it!"

"Then how come you know what flowers are?"

"I don't kn-"

**BANG!!!!!**

"Ooof!"

"Now come here! You're going to bake another cake and clean up this mess you made!"

Malik stood wide-eyed. 'On second thought, I would rather not know if Isis was here or not.' Malik went downstairs to where Isis and Marik were. Isis continued slapping Marik with her broom.

"Ummm...Isis?"

"What, Malik, can't you see I'm busy teaching your yami a lesson he'll never forget?"

"Err....yeah, but I got my list done.

"Great! But, since my museum is doing some business with Dungeon Dice Monsters, Duke is coming too. And for some reason, Tea has to come to. She says she has nowhere to sleep in tomorrow, so I invited her to come to our house."

"What the heck? That...dice person and friendship freak are coming, too?"

"Of course they are. Now let me see that list of yours."

"....curses in Egyptian...." Malik hands the list to Isis.

Isis's eyebrows shot up. "Hmm...Seto Kaiba? Mokuba? Umm...Malik?"

"What do you want?"

"You do know that **you're **calling everybody, right?"

"WHAT??? Why ME?"

"Because it's you're party. Now get on with it. Marik and I are going shopping for more flour and he needs to get some cleaning material to clean this mess up."

"What in ra? I'm going _shopping_?" Marik stared Isis.

"Ha ha! Marik has to go shopping!" Malik laughed at Marik.

"SHUT UP!"

"Ahem Now Malik, get on with calling everyone!" Isis glared at them. "Well, let's go, Marik."

"Damn you, ra...." Marik said as Isis dragged him out.

When they were gone Malik looked up in frustration. "Why do I have to call all of those damn people? Stupid Egyptian sisters...'

"I heard that!!!! And get on with it already!"

'How'd she hear that?? She was what, fifty miles southwest?'

/ /We're still right outside the house, waiting for a taxi, you dimwit!/ /

/Get ou-/ Mind link breaks

'Stupid yamis, well, I better get calling right now...Let's see.....I'll call Kaiba first...'

At Kaiba' House...err, I mean mansion

"No, Mokuba, I won't buy you that Pikachu doll" Kaiba said as he typed on his laptop.

"Please!!" Mokuba begged as he stared at his brother with puppy dog eyes.

"No, and that's final!"

"Aww..." Mokuba dragged himself out of Kaiba's room just as...

Ring!

Ring!

RRRINNGGG!!!

Kaiba picked up the phone. "Stupid phones....What do you want?"

"Big brother! That wasn't very nice!"

"Mokuba, go away, I'm on the phone."

"Oh, fine....."

Kaiba started talking on the phone again. "So? What do you want already?

"Ummm....hello?"

"Malik! Why did you call me?"

"Uhh...Merry Christmas?"

Kaiba sighed. "You're not worth my time. It's still three more days, you know."

"Ok, fine, you win! My pathetic-Egyptian sister wants me to throw a stupid party for my birthday and she wants to invite you."

"She wants to?"

"Ok, fine, there's no one else to invite anyway!"

Kaiba glanced at his watch impatiently. "That's better. Besides, I have no time for parties and I happen to be very busy right now.

"Don't worry! Me and big brother will be there!"

"Mokuba! What are you doing on the phone?!?!"

"Well, when your big brother is the CEO of a big company, he has more than one phone at his house."

Malik looked confusedly at his phone. "Kaiba, you're acting like Mokuba...."

"No you idiot, since I have more than one phone in the house, Mokuba picked one up and listened to our conversati-"

"We'll be there, Malik! Don't you worry!"

"Kaiba, are you sure you're not acting like Mokuba? You even sound like him..."

"Gahh, I give up! Fine, we'll be there at your pathetic party."

"Aannndd, big brother will buy a present, won't he?"

"MOKUBA!!! Argh, fine, I'll buy you a freaking present! Now, BYE!" Kaiba slammed the phone. "Great, now I'll have to bye that freak of nature a present, too."

Malik looked at the strange item he was holding. "Well...that went...fairly well....Great, next is..."

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Ok, well, sorry it took so long to get this out! I do have to go to school, I'm only in eighth grade, you know! And plus, I don't update until I get a random number of reviews! I know it was short, but I'll make the next one longer! And yay! I got some reviews! Woo-hoo!

(Answers to reviews)

Takura2004: Sorry about that, but everybody loves cliffhangers.

Shizuka Kaiba: I meant to spell it that way. It does kind of sound like Sir.Enity, though....

YO! : Yep, Tea is a friendship freak! Actually, you're the first Tea basher I've every met...

Hakudoshi-chann: Rebbeca Hopskins is the American dueling champion. She has a major crush on Yugi, and she came back during Doma and Kaiba corp grand prix.

Ok, bye! And don't forget to review!


	3. Ring! Ring! RING!

I'm updating! Sorry if this took a while.

**Disclaimer: I think you know I don't own yuugiou or any of the characters. If I did, then the English dub would be GONE!!! YEAH! And I see they're finished with battle city...I'm warning you English dubbers, if you mess up any of the Doma's character's voices I will personnally come over there and bang you with a bat....**

Whee!!! Thirteen reviews! Count them, one, two, three, four, five six...I'll shut up now. And now I know two English dub Tea bashers! Yay! Oh, and I know it's not anywhere near Christmas, remember that Malik's birthday is December 22nd and that is only a couple of days until Christmas.

And I wonder how Serenity acts in the dub? Don't mind me if she acts a little strange, I've never seen her in the English version.....

Oh, and I might not update too quickly, My parents were all "You play too much computer so you can only play the computer on Friday and the weekends..." blah, blah, blah.

Ok, now on with the fic!

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**Chapter 3 Ring! Ring! RING!**

"Now that's two down, six more to call. Who should I call next? Not the pharaoh and porcupine-head, I'll save them for last. I guess I'll call Ryou and Bakura now. Let's see...."

**At Bakura's house. I don't think Ryou owns a mansion**

"Bakura, NO! Put those knives away NOW! You can't put knives on a Christmas tree!!" Ryou said as he screamed at his yami.

"Oh, come on, they really give that green thing an elegant look, don't they?"

"No! Put those knives back!"

"Oh, fine. What's the point of celebrating this stupid holiday if you can't even decorate that green spiky thing?" Bakura asked as he put the knives away.

Ryou glared at his yami. "You can decorate the tree however you want, but you just _can't _put knives on a Christmas tree! Get some more into the holiday spirit!"

"Fine, fine, fine. Sheesh! You seriously need to get a better tradition. Back in ancient Egypt, you know, we truly honored cats not some green hairy thing that you pulled out of the ground."

"Bakura, I'm really thinking of sending you to summer camp or winter camp so you can catch up with what's happening _today_ and not 3,000 years ago."

Bakura stared wide eyed at his yami. "0.0 No, that's okay, I can catch up and honor this thing you call a "tree"."

"That's better. Now stay here while I get out some traditional decorations for the tree." Ryou said as he walked out of the living room.

"That's just great....I try to do what my Hikari is doing and his stupid innocence ruins everything up when I just want to add some flare." Bakura sighed and walked to his couch to sit down just as...."

Ring!

Ring!

"What the-"Bakura glanced around the room for indications on where the ringing was coming from.

Ring!

"Bakura, will you get the phone?"

"Ok, Ryou, whatever you say...." Suddenly Bakura spotted a white sort of bumpy box next to him.

Ring!

Ring!

"Ahhh!!! Ryou, help! There's this small pile of solid white sand that's ringing and trying to make me go deaf! Help, Ryou!" Bakura ran across the room looking for a weapon.

"Bakura??" Ryou wanted to see what was going on. He looked at the phone and started to go near it to pick it up.

Just then....

**WHACK **

"Oww! Bakura! Why did you hit me with that book?"

"Ryou! Are you okay? I saved your life! You could have died if you touched that treacherous thing!"

Ring!

Ring!

Ryou looked annoyed. "Argh! Bakura that was a telephone, for ra's sake! You pick it up and you can talk to somebody who is calling you!"

"Oh...."

Ring!

Ring!

"Now let me pick this telephone up before I hit you with that damn thing!"

'Sheesh, who knew Ryou knew how to swear so much?' Bakura thought as Ryou approached the "telephone"'

"Hello? This is the Bakura residence, Ryou speaking."

"Bakura! What the hell! The phone ringed ten damn times already before you picked it up!

"-.- Malik, first of all, this is _Ryou, _not Bakura. Second, the phone rang _nine_ times before I picked it up."

"Oh, well! That just makes it five times worst!" Malik said as he glanced frustratingly at the phone. "Why couldn't you just pick it up on the first time?"

"I'm happy to speak with you, too, Malik. How may I help you?" Ryou asked in a boring tone.

'Okay, Malik, stay calm...try not to throw this "phone" at the wall so Isis doesn't make me clean up the mess and make me pay for it when she gets home. Stay calm....'

"ahem Ryou, my birthday is tomorrow I think, and Isis wants me to celebrate it. We would like to invite you and..umm...your yami as well."

"Your birthday is tomorrow? But you never celebrate it!"

"Well, yes, but Isis is forcing me to."

"Then of course Bakura and I will come! Why, it will be splendid, you celebrating your birthday for the first time! We shall-"

"Umm, Ryou?"

"Have lots of cake and, oh! It's almost Christmas! We'll bring some ornaments to put on the tree, and, I know! We'll bring presents to exchange and-"

"Ryou!"

"We all will have a Christmas feast and-"

"RYOU!!!!!!!!"

"Umm, yes? Sorry, I got carried away there. "

"Thank you." Malik glanced impatiently at the clock. If Isis got here before he was done calling, then he'd be in real trouble. "Now are you going to come or not?"

"Of course we'll be there! Bye, now! Bakura and I will see you tomorrow!"

"BYE!" Malik slammed down the phone. 'Ra, why do you make me suffer instead of the pharaoh?'

/ /Because you're not the pharaoh/ /

/Shut the hell up! Besides, aren't you shopping?/

/ /Yes, but Isis says she wants to buy me some more clothes because anything I have is too dark/ /

/Ha! You have to go shopping for clothes! Haha!/

/ /Annndd she's buying you some new clothes too/ /

/Oh, crap..../

Malik broke the mind link and looked at the clock. "Well, Isis does tend to shop for a pretty long time, so I guess I'm safe. Let's see, four down, four to go. Who should I call next? Hmm...Well I absolutely will NOT call the pharaoh and his stupid hikari next. I guess I'll call Joey and Sir. Enity.

Malik picked up the phone and dialed Joey's number.

** At Joey's house. I am absolutely sure that Joey does not own a mansion **

"Okay, now, I'll add some of this pepper stuff and some onions...yeah! These are going to be the best cookies ever!

"Joey! You put _onions_ and _pepper_ in a cookie? That's gross!" Serenity said making a disgusted face.

"How is that gross? I 'put onions and peppers and even some beans, spinach and pizza in the smoothie I made last night and you said you loved it, sis!" Joey said happily as he continued stirring the batter. "This looks like it's almost done!"

Serenity made a face at her brother. "_That's_ what you put in that drink yesterday? I think I'm going to be sick....Excuse me, but I really have to go to the bathroom right now...."

"Sure thing, sis. Now let's see...Soybean sauce! I bet it would taste great in these cookies." Joey started pouring soybean sauce in his cookies.

Ring!

Ring!

Joey picked up the phone. "Hello? Who is this?"

"You're worse nightmare."

"Ahhh!!! Kaiba!!! Serenity, help! Kaiba's calling me! He probably wants to pulverize me through the phone somehow!"

Serenity walked out of the bathroom. "Onii-chan! Be reasonable! Why would the rich CEO call one of his worst enemies?"

"Hey, sis, you're right....but the person on the phone said that he was my worst nightmare and moneybags there is my worst enemy...." Joey looked at his sister reasonably.

"You dimwit! It's not Kaiba, you mutt! It's **Malik**!"

"Oh, sorry there, Malik, I actually thought that you were moneybags...wait a second....AAHHHHH!!!! Malik's on the phone! Help!!!!" Joey started running around in circles screaming like a maniac.

"Oh brother...." Serenity grabbed the phone from Joey. "Hello, Malik! Sorry, about my onii-chan, he's having...a really _bad_ day..."

"Yeah, I believe you alright." Malik said in a sarcastic tone. "So, Isis wants me to-"

"We'll come to you're birthday party! Don' worry! And I'll persuade my onii-chan too!"

"What the hell? How did you know?" Malik asked confusedly.

"Well, Isis came here dragging Marik a while back...something about being fed up, books, taxis, and flowers...well, she said that you're birthday is tomorrow and she said we're invited! And the best part is Tristan-san is coming too! "

"Serenity! You did NOT just agree to go to that evil-destroying-killer-who-almost-killed-Mai-and-me's birthday, did you?!?!" Malik heard Joey's voice from the other side of the line.

"Onii-chan! It wasn't Malik who did that, it was Marik! That's a big difference!"

"Whatever. At least Mai will be there!" Joey said at a happier tone.

Malik started to scream. "WHAT THE HECK, I DID NOT INVITE THAT MAKE-UP PERSON, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Serenity quieted down. "Umm...Malik?"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, DO NOT TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO INVITE THAT STUPID STYLISH-PERSON, OK????"

'Woah, somebody needs to calm down.....' Serenity thought. "Uhh, Malik? Isis said it was alright to bring a friend if we wanted to, and Joey asked if we could bring Mai, and she said yes. And don't worry, umm, _we'll_ call her and if you don't mind, we'll call Tristan too......."

"YOU MEAN MY DAMN SISTER INVITED THAT DAMN PERSON!!!!"

"Malik, take a deep breath and count to one-hundred..."

"WHY SHOULD I TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND COUNT TO WHATEVER NUMBER YOU JUST SAID!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE MY STUPID SISTER ACTUALLY INVITED HER AND FRIEND SHIP FREAK AND DICE PER-"

**Hang Up**

Joey looked wide eyed at Serenity. "I could hear him all the way from here....."

"Joey! You're right next to me, remember?" Asked Serenity as she slowly put the phone down.

"Oh, yeah...." Joey stated. "Well, at least Mai is coming too! "

"Oh brother...."

** Meanwhile, at Malik's house **

"WHAT BY RA, MY STUPID SISTER ACTUALLY INVITED MAKE-UP FREAK TOO! OKAY, THAT'S IT, THE NEXT TIME I SEE ISIS, I WILL KILL HER WITH THE SENNEN ROD!"

/ /Sheesh! Malik, you should calm down a bit. You yelling in my head is not helping.../ /

/WHAT DO YOU MEAN BE CALM???? I WILL NOT TOLERATE HER INVITING STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!/

/ /Malik, should I come again in a couple of hours when you're calmer?/ /

/YES DO THAT, OR I WILL EXPLODE ON TOP OF YOU!!!!/

/ /0.0 Okay...../ /

'Okay, Malik, be calm....I'll just have a nice chat with my sister when she gets home and she better have a good explanation for this....' Malik stared at the wall. 'Now....let's see...what did Sir. Enity say? Oh yeah, she said to take a deep breath.' Breaths in, and then breaths out.

'Well, at least Sir. Enity said that she would call the house-hair person, so at least I don't have to call anyone else...'

/ /Ahem What about the Pharaoh and his hikari?/ /

/Oh, no....did you have to remind me? /

/ /Yup! That's what yamis are for. You better hurry up, you know, Isis and I are walking home now, so we should be back in a few minutes/ /

/Great.../

** Wherever Marik is **

Serenity looked outside her house. "Onii-chan, look! Isis is back! She and Marik must be back from shopping!" Serenity ran outside to meet them.

"Hi, Serenity!" Isis walked up to her with a very reluctant person following her. "What's up?"

Serenity smiled. "Not much, my onii-chan has been baking some very...._strange_ cookies...What's up with you?"

/ /Malik? On second thought, we'll be back in a few more hours.../ /

/You will? YES!!!/

/ /Hikaris are stupid.../ /

/HEY!!!!!/

** Back at Malik's house. Actually, he could have a mansion... **

"Okay...it's time to call the Pharaoh and his hikari now....." Malik sighed and then picked up the phone.

** To Yugi's house! I actually know for once that he doesn't have a mansion! **

Yugi tried to stop his yami. "Yami, stop! Those ornaments aren't food! Argh! Don't touch the presents! You'll get to open them soon! Hey, put the star back on the Christmas tree! Yami! Don't run into the-"

**BOOM! **

"Christmas tree.... YAMI!!" Yugi started glaring at him. "What were you thinking?"

Yami tried to get out of the mess. "Sorry, aibou, I guess I got carried away..." Yami brushed the pine needles of him. Then he heard....

Ring!

Ring!

"Why do I have to ring all the time? Maybe I'll moo..." thought the telephone in his secret quiet voice.

Moo!

Quack!

Yami looked around! "Ahhh! There are some animals in this room! Yugi, get my puzzle! I can't have manure on it!"

Yugi sighed. "Yami, that's a telephone. Though why it started mooing and quacking is beyond me..."

Oink!

Tweet!

Yugi picked up the telephone. "Hello? Who is this?"

At the other line, Malik answered. "Hi you stupid porcupine-head."

"Malik? Oh, hello there! How are you? And...why are you calling me?" Yugi stood confused.

"Well...my birthday is tomor-"Malik began.

"You're birthday is tomorrow? And you're going to _invite_ me and yami? We'll come! And I'll convince Yami...somehow....Well bye!"

Malik made a confused face. 'It was that easy?' But, before he hung up...

"YUGI!!! WHY DID YOU AGREE TO GO TO MALIK'S HOUSE TOMORROW? I WILL NOT GO TO THAT EGYPTION FREAK'S HOUSE!!!!"

"Yami, you're Egyptian too..."

"Oh, yeah....but still....WHY DID YOU SAY THAT I WOULD GO TO HIS HOUSE FOR A BIR THE DA YE?"

"Uhh...Yami? It's birthday, and umm...because Malik doesn't deserve to be treated badly just because he raised _another_ erm...interesting yami..."

"YEAH HE DOES!!!!!"

"Well, Yami, it's almost Christmas, so we should celeb-"

Hang up

Malik put the phone down as quickly as he could. "Well....that was...._interesting_...At least I've finished calling everyone...."

Ding Dong

"Hmm...I could have sworn I heard something Ding Dong...."

DING DONG

"Maybe I'm hearing things."

DING DONG!!!!!!!!

/ /Malik! You fool! Open the damn door already! We've dinged dong long enough!/ /

/ Oh, so that's what was ringing..../

/ /OPEN THE DOOR NOW!!!!/ /

/0.0 Ok..../

Malik walked to the door. Isis walked in, shoving Malik along the way. "Malik! What took you so long to open the door?"

Marik was laughing. Malik glared at him. "I was...err... finishing calling everyone..., yeah, that's right!" Malik put his most innocent face on.

"Oh...ok, now have you finished calling everyone?" Isis asked.

"Yeah..."

"Have they said they could come?"

"Yeah..."

"Did Serenity tell you about Mai?"

"Yeah..."

"Can you say something else other than yeah?"

"Yeah..."

Isis stomped her foot down. "MALIK!!!!"

Malik looked surprised at her. "What?"

"Stop saying yeah! Ok, now come and see what Malik and I have brought..." Isis took Malik and showed him the armful of bags. "See, we have plenty of decorations, and a wreath, and..." Isis showed him a green plant with red berries.

"WHAT??!?!?! WHY DID YOU BUY A MISTLETOE????" Malik screamed at Isis.

Isis smiled. "Well...because there are some lovebirds we're inviting..."

"Oh..."

"Now, MARIK!!! GET BACK HERE!!!!" Isis looked at Marik, who was itching away.

Marik stopped in his tracks. "Drat, I almost got away....."

Isis sighed impatiently. "Look, you two, just go to sleep and I'll finish decorating."

"Fine..." Malik walked to his room and Marik walked to his.

The next day because Flaming Emerald is too lazy to write what happened

Malik opened his eyes. "Drat...my birthday is today..."

* * *

And that' where I stop! And now answers too reviews:

Kls: Yeah...they are pretty cute, aren't they? And I think Yami no Malik is just as cool as Malik! lol! Yup, Tea should have something better to talk about.....

Kke: Thanks!

XoX.d.a.[r].k.a.n.[g].e.l.XoX: I'm glad you liked it!

Cake for you!: Thanks for the yummy cake! And I just updated!

Takura2004: Yup, he did!

Cecilia DevilAngel: Yep, I'll update it! I just did.

Kikoken: Oh...But Kaiba is 16, not 17....

Ok, bye! And don't forget to review or I won't update!


	4. 4 out of 11 parts of Hell begins

Ok I'm updating! And my friend Scratchy, the hamster here will do the disclaimer!

**Squeak, Disclaimer: Flaring Emerald does not squeak own yuugiou, but if ****she did, squeak, than Kisara, Yami no Malik, and ,squeak, Priestress Isis wouldn't have died. Flaring Emerald does own me, I am her cute, squeak adorable, furry, small-pawed, sharp-clawed, little cute golden beige hamster! Squeak! **

Thank you, my little Scratchy! Sorry this chapter took so long!

Oh, and, just so you know, this chapter isn't that funny....and I think everybody is a bit out of character...I'll fix that in chapter 5, though! And this chapter is pretty short...

And another thing before I forget:

Nii-sama: This is what Mokuba calls Kaiba

Oni-chan: This is what Shizuka (a.k.a. Serenity) calls Jounouchi. (A.k.a. Joey)

Now, let's get on with the fic!

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 4 4/11 of hell begins**

"Please tell me that ra took pity and skipped December 22nd and went strait to December 23rd.....please tell me that...." Malik thought as he just stared at the wall.

Well, let me just tell you that it IS December 22nd and...well, Isis actually finished decorating the house...and I can't find that damn mistletoe! I do NOT want to be caught under a mistletoe with anyone of those ridiculous people you're inviting....

/You just had to ruin it, didn't you? /

/ /Of course. That's the reason I exist./ /

/GET THE HELL OUT OF MY MIND FOR THE LAST DAMN TIME!!!!!/

/ /0.0 Umm...ok..../ /

'That's much better...' Malik thought. 'At least my stupid yami is out of the way...'

/ /You do know that I heard that, don't you Malik?/ /

/GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE FOR THE LAST FREAKEN TIME BEFORE I CHOOSE MY DAMN WORDS MORE CAREFULLY!!!/

/ /I think somebody got up from the wrong side of the bed.../ /

/Hmm? What do you mean? I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. /

/ /Never Mind...-.-/ /

Malik sighed. "Well, maybe if I just hide over here, than Isis will forget I'm here..."

"Malik! Get down here! Marik says that he talked to you through his mind link and that you're awake!"

/MARIK!!!!!/

/ /Uh-oh...I'm in trouble.../ /

"Ok, I think I will OFFICIALY KILL MY YAMI RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!!!!" Malik said as he threw his pillow at the wall.

Isis yelled at Malik from downstairs. "Malik! Come on already! And your yami said you threw a pillow at the wall. Don't do that!"

/WHAT?!?!?!?/

/ /I think I'm in BIG trouble.../ /

"I'm coming...." Malik ran outside his bedroom and down the stairs. "MARIK, I'M COIMING!!! YOU BETTER BEWARE BECAUSE WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU ARE TOAST, HAVE YOU GOT THAT? Oh....hello, dear sister..."

Isis glared at him. "What's with the screaming? If you really want to know where Marik went, he went running outside screaming something. He should be back soon...Do you really need to speak with him?"

"Uhh...no....not necessarily....." Malik stuttered.

/ /Hah! I got away!/ /

/MARIK!!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!!!/

"Dear brother, you seem like you want to....rip someone's head off..."

Malik looked up. "Huh? Oh, umm...I was just thinking...about....umm....how hard it was....persuading...the Kaiba brothers to come! Yeah, that!"

"Ok, but somehow I'm not persuaded..." Isis sighed. "So, do you like how this place is decorated?"

Malik looked around the room. "Uhh...sure, it's _great_, but why do we need that green thing in the middle of the room...and why did you put colored balls on it?"

"Malik, must you be so complicated? It's a tree...a Christmas tree to be more exact. So you like it?" Isis asked.

"Yeah, sure...."

Just then Marik came in. "Is it safe yet?" Marik saw Malik. "AHHHH!!!"

"Malik, I'll GET YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!" Malik started chasing Marik across the room. "You are TOAST!!!! Toast with jam on top!!!"

Marik looked at his hikari. "You do know that I grabbed the millennium rod, don't you?"

Malik stared wide-eyed. "YOU SNUCK INTO MY ROOM AND GRABBED MY ROD FROM ME?"

"Uh-Oh...I don't think ancient magic can hold my hikari back...."

"YOU'RE RIGHT BECAUSE IT WON'T!!!!" With that, Malik started charging on Marik. "COME BACK HERE YOU FOOL" But suddenly they went banging in to a certain mad sister.

"Malik! Marik! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU MESS ANYTHING UP!!!" Isis yelled at them. Malik and Marik stopped in their tracks. "That's better. Now, everybody should start coming sometime in the afternoon, so we better get this place cleaned up...."

**1:00 because like I said Flaring Emerald is too lazy to put what happened. **

Malik started praying to ra. "For once, tell me that everybody forgot and won't come so I won't have to deal with them....please...."

/ /You're really stupid. They won't forget!/ /

/Hey, there's a first time for everything! /

/ /I guess.... But they still won't forget!/ /

/ Moral of the day: When you want to hope for something to happen, make sure that you have searched your mind chamber and made sure that your yami is not in your mind. /

/ /Hahaha, very funny.../ /

/Thank you/

'Now as I was saying..' Malik thought. "Tell me that everybody has forgotten, please?"

Ding Dong!

Ding Dong!

"Malik, will you get that? Marik and I are busy!" Called Isis from wherever she is.

/Busy? You're BUSY? If you're so _busy_, then why are you wasting you're time speaking to me through our mind link? /

/ /Hehehe.../ /

"Malik, answer the door already!"

"Ok!" Malik went to the door and opened it. Standing right there was someone who was....let's just say that someone was really tall, had blue eyes, carrying a briefcase containing who-knows-what, was wearing a trench coat, and had someone who looked younger who was jumping along excitedly.

"Hmph! It's about time you opened the door." Kaiba almost pushed Malik out of the way and walked into the living room.

Malik looked annoyed. "You know, I think I could live with pretending I do not know who just walked in."

/ /Haha! You have to entertain the High Priest! Ha!/ /

/SHUT THE HELL UP!!! /

/ /.....Ok, didn't know you were that...._fun _to talk to..../ /

"Well then, you can pretend that, and I'll pretend I never saw you." Came Kaiba's icy reply.

"Nii-sama! Be nice!" Mokuba said while tugging at his brother's trench coat.

"Mokuba! Fine...." Kaiba smirked at Malik. "Hmm....Well, at least I brought my laptop and some work to do. Nothing much to do here."

"Nii-sama!"

"Ok, fine, Mokuba..." Kaiba took out his laptop and started typing.

/That damn High Priest! Why I should just jump at him and rip his bones apart and bang that laptop on his head! /

/ /Ok....interesting reply..../ /

/ I AM GETTING VERY ANNOYED AT YOU AND GET OUT RIGHT THIS INSTANT BEFORE I RIP APART _YOUR_ BONES! /

/ /0.0 Ok...sure, Malik.../ /

"That's better..." Malik looked up and saw Kaiba and Mokuba staring at him. "What?"

"You just said that you were getting annoyed at me and told me to get out and that you would rip apart my bones..." Kaiba looked at Malik like he was the strangest person he had ever seen.

"Nii-sama, he's scaring me..." Mokuba inched closer to Kaiba.

"Umm....well, you see...." Malik began.

Ding Dong!

Ding Dong!

"I'll get it!" Malik rushed to the door, obviously relieved that he could escape from the Kaiba brothers. He opened the door and peeked out. He saw blonde hair, which didn't quite narrow it down. He opened the door fully.

"Hello, Malik!" Serenity happily came in. "Onii-chan, you can come in now!"

"Hmm...I don't see that psycho creep, but that's a good thing....Hmm..." Joey looked around trying to find Marik.

"Onii-chan!" Serenity tapped at Joey's shoulder. "Ahem?"

"Huh? Oh, hi, Malik! Just checking, you know...for anybody that is a person-killer freak...."

/ /HEY!!! I HEARD THAT!!! I'LL GET JOEY FOR THAT, OH YES I WILL!!!/ /

/ -.- Ok.... /

"So is Mai here yet?" Joey asked.

"Uhh...not sure you want to know who's here..." Malik looked at Joey. "In fact I'm _positive_ that you won't want to know....."

"Of course I want to know! Wait...do you hear that?" Joey asked.

"Hmm...I think I hear something..." Serenity said. She looked around, wondering where the noise was coming from.

"Uhh..." Malik was sure he knew what the noise was, but he didn't want to tell Joey.

Type. You know, the noise when you type.

Type

Type

"Nii-sama! Are you going to work all day?"

"I'm glad you asked that, Mokuba. In fact, that was exactly what I was going to do..."

Joey stared wide eyed. "Uhh.... I think I know who is here now."

Malik looked for an escape route. He definitely didn't want to be caught in the middle of Joey and Kaiba, but then again, who would? "Umm...I've got too...umm....help my sister out with something...yeah! So...I'll be back _soon_..." And with that Malik started heading into another room as quickly as he could. He looked behind him.

"Mutt."

"Money bags!"

"Chihuahua."

"Rich jerk!"

"Onii-chan, come down!"

"But, Serenity!"

"Hmph! 3rd rate duelist."

"Nii-sama, that wasn't nice!"

"He deserved it."

"KAIBA!!!!"

"What? Can't you see I'm too busy to hand doggy treats to you?"

"THAT'S IT!!! BRING ME AT HIM!!!!!"

Malik looked behind him. "Wheuf! In the nick of time..."

* * *

Ok! Yeah, I know that was a short chapter, but hey, my parents still think that I should not play the computer during weekdays. So...yeah. And answers to reviews :

****

**Cecilia DevilAngel**: Yup, I updated! Whoops, I'm probally going to pair up JouxMai, but I didn't intend to pair HondaxShizuka!(TristanxShizuka)

Scratchy: Camels? Where?

FE(Flaring Emerald): -.-

****

**kls**: Yeah, poor Malik!

Scratchy: /Brings a ladder/ And here's a ladder so you can reach Malik!

FE: SCRATCHY!!!!

Scratchy: What?

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**Lin McGregor:** I never intended to bash Anzu! (Tea) I was just thinkin about leaving her alone with no pairing...Just kidding! I'm thinking about pairing her wtih Yugi or Yami.

**kikoken**: Yup, I finally got it! Finally....

**Takura2004**: Well, then here it is!

Scratchy: And I got to do the disclaimer!

**XoX.d.a.r.k.a.n.g.e.l.XoX**: I just updated!

Oh, yeah, I was thinking about which pairings I should do. So far the only definate thing is JouxMai. If you have any ideas to pairings, please email me!

Ja ne! Good bye! And don't forget to review!


	5. My worst enemy arrives

WHAT? What in hell did 4kids do to the Doma warrior's voices? Varon has that accent, Rapheal's voice is really low-pitched and Amelda's is...just plain bad.... And my friend told me that Dartz has the voice actor of Malik? The worst voice in history? And they changed Varon to _Valon_? Ok, that's it, DIE YOU STUPID 4KIDS!!!! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!

Anyway, I do have to thank Hurricane Ivan because guess what? There's no school today, which is why I can update!

**Disclaimer: If I owned Yuugiou, I would have to be a man. And I'm not.**

Oh, and, to me, I think that some characters are out-of-character and this chapter isn't too funny and it's pretty short.....A writer's block sort of came and I'm running out of ideas.....

Now on with the fic!

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* * *

**

**Chapter 5 The worst enemy arrives....**

"YOU ARE SO STUPID, KAIBA!!!!"

"Oh, really? I was pretty sure that a human had a higher I.Q. than a mutt."

"Nii-sama!!!"

"What?"

"KAIBA, I'M GETTING SICK OF YOU!!!!"

"Good, now you're being a good boy, mutt."

"THAT'S IT! Serenity, move out of the way, I'm going to bring this rich jerk down!"

"Onii-chan, you'll hur-"

**POW!!!**

"-t yourself..... Too late...Onii-chan, are you okay?"

"Ouch! Kaiba, that really hurt, you know!"

"Hmph. You should have been watching yourself, you bakayaro."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME???"

Malik glanced at them. 'Still not safe to come out yet.....Do those two ever stop arguing?'

/ /No, they don't, as a matter of fact./ /

/ FOR THE LAST TIME WOULD YOU GET OUT OF MY MIND????? /

"Malik! Your yami says you're screaming inside your mind link! Cut that out and go welcome our guests!" Isis yelled. "We're really busy at this moment!"

/ WHAT THE HELL???? YOU'RE _BUSY_ AGAIN? IF YOU'RE BUSY THEN QUIT GOING INSIDE MY HEA-/

"Malik! I told you to stop screaming!"

/ MARIK!!!!! /

/ /Hehehe..../ /

Malik looked out where Joey and Kaiba were arguing. He sighed then cautiously approached them. "Umm....hi?"

"THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT!!!!!"

"Onii-chan, calm down!"

"Oh, no...."

Malik looked at them. Serenity was trying to hold Joey back and Kaiba was....just sitting there typing. And Mokuba was just trying to get out of the way.....

"Serenity, let me go! I'm going to get rich boy for this!"

"No! Just stop fighting!"

"Yeah, mutt, listen to your master."

"THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT KAIBA!!!"

"Onii-chan, that's what you said last time!"

"But!"

Malik sighed. This was going to be the longest day ever.......

"Hmph, that's what you get, mutt."

"I ain't no-"

Ding Dong!

Ding Dong!

**Meanwhile, outside the door.....**

"Yugi, remind me why I had to go to psycho-killer's house?" Yami glared at Yugi, demanding an explanation. "I had better things to do."

"Well, we're going because it's Malik's birthday, Yami." Yugi said, trying to convince his yami that Malik wasn't so bad.

Yami didn't look convinced. "And why do we have to go with _him_."

"It's not my fault, pharaoh. You were the one who decided to leave just as we were."

"Bakura, last time I checked I WAS NOT TALKING TO YOUR OVERGROWN SPIKEKY HAIR, OKAY?" Yami sent the you-are-so-dead look at Bakura.

Ryou looked at his yami then back at Yami. "Bakura, could you please be better behaved? You promised."

Bakura didn't stop staring at yami. "Fine, Ryou."

"Tomb robber."

"Pharaoh."

"Psycho-steak eating yami. (It's true, in the Battle City tournament banquet, Bakura ate a huge piece of steak. Too bad they edited it out of the dub.....)"

"Winning stuck-up"

Just then, Malik opened the door. "Oh, it's the damn pharaoh." Malik called out to Isis. "The tri-colored-spiky-hair-spoiled-pharaoh is here!"

Yami glared at Malik. "What?!?!"

Then, some screaming arose. Yugi gave a curious look at Malik. "Is someone here already?"

"Come and see for yourself" Malik stepped aside and headed towards the kitchen. "I'm going to get something to eat...."

'Hmph! How rude of Malik!' Thought Yami as he and the other quests stepped in.

"KAIBA, PREPARE TO DIE!!!!"

"That's funny. I don't think I'm that old yet."

"HAHA, VERY FUNNY KAIBA!!!! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!!"

"You know, a dog shouldn't be barking to his master."

"YOU AIN'T MY MASTER!"

"Oh, then who is?"

"THAT'S THE LAST STRAW, KAIBA!!!!"

**CRASH!!!!**

"Hey! You broke my laptop!"

"DUH YOU STUPID RICH FREAK! WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS INTENDING TO DO, MAKE OUT WITH YOU'RE STUPID LAPTOP?"

"Why you little mutt!" Kaiba lunged himself at Joey. "You'll pay for that!"

Yugi stared at them fighting. "Uhh....I think I know who's here now.......

* * *

Yup, that's the end of the short chapter...... I'm just starting to run out of ideas....yeah, so, answers to reviews time!

**Shizuka Kaiba**-Ok, you want Shizuka with Malik or Kaiba...I'll see what I can do!

**DaRkNeSsApPrOaChEs**-Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, it sucks when your parents tell you to get off the computer, doesn't it? I read your fic! It's pretty good! I hope you'll update!

**Cecilia DevilAngel**-Hehe, don't worry, Yugi is all yours! I guess that means I MIGHT do AnzuxYami...

**Rebeccalupos1991**- I'm glad you liked it!

**Jamie-**(Did I not already answer this question?) I know Shizuka's dub name is Serenity. I just put that there because......I dunno, I just wanted to.

**Sirithiliel**-Well more is on its way! I'm glad you liked my fic!

**Kls**-I can still bash Anzu! I never said I couldn't... And Malik under the mistletoe....Good Idea!

**Sigfrid**-Hehehe, I'm glad you liked that part!

**Takura2004**-Lol! Good idea!

Ok, there's the end of that. And don't forget to review!


	6. Out of all people, ME

Wow, I'm updating! That's a miracle! Let's celebrate! Just kidding! . But isn't it a miracle that I'm updating?

Ok, I don't really have an excuse for not updating, but…..umm, school started, so…..yeah, I'm busy with school and all…..Stupid dubbers….they already ruined the Doma arc! And is it just me or does Jounouchi sound dumber than usual?

**Disclaimer: If I owned Yuugiou, then Anzu would be dead and Yami no Malik, Kisara, Mana, Kaiba, and Priest Mahado would rule the show!**

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Oh, and by the way, if you forget to review, I'll forget to update again!

Now on with the fic!

**Chapter 6 Out of all people...ME**

****

Malik's POV

I hate life…

"I hate you, you BAKA pharaoh…"

"I hate you too, you BAKA tomb robber…."

Judging on those two sentences and, from what I saw, Ryou and Yugi coming in, I'll guess that Bakura and the Pharaoh are here too…..

And that is absolutely NOT a good combination….Ok, I'm officially staying in the kitchen…And not even my sister will make me get out…..Well, maybe she could…..If she does, I'll pretend I'm getting something to eat…..

Regular POV

Bakura smirked. "I said that I hated you first! HA! You lose, pharaoh, and I win!"

"Wait a second…..that did NOT count! Did that count, Yugi? That wasn't even a duel!" Yami screamed.

Yugi looked a little confused and bored with the yamis' constant arguing. "Well…uh, it wasn't exactly a duel, so I guess it shouldn't count-"

"HA! Take that, tomb robber!" Yami smirked gleefully.

"Ggggrrrr….."

"ahem Like I was saying, before I was interrupted, it was still…... kind " Yugi finished.

"Ah, so what were you saying again, Pharaoh?"

"….."

"Speechless for once, aren't you pharaoh?" Bakura smirked, pleased for defeating the all-great-mighty pharaoh in….something….

/ / GRRRR!!!!! YUGI! How could you agree to that Stupid-no good tomb robber? I'm your own yami! You should have agreed with me! / /

/ Yami…..Just drop it….it's not like him saying that he hated you first is going to make him the ruler of everything…. /

/ / Yeah, I guess…I'll get that tomb robber next time, I'll make sure of that…. / /

/ Some things never change….. /

Ryou looked helplessly at Yugi. "Their fighting, just as usual, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are…Yami is going to have to learn some manners…" Yugi gave a nervous laugh at Ryou.

"What are you talking about, Aibou? I'm very well behaved…." Yami gave his best innocent look at Yugi.

Yugi sighed. "Sure, Yami…."

"Yugi, what do you mean? I'm way better-behaved than that tomb robber over there." Yami gave a glance at Bakura. "Don't you agree?"

"Well you baka Pharaoh…"

"I can't believe you broke MY laptop! You're going to pay for it!"

"What!?!?!? Pay for your own laptop, moneybags!"

"Oh-oh….nii-sama is going to get mad…" Mokuba was shaking his head.

"You are going to pay for it!"

"Oh yeah? Well, who's going to make me?"

"How about my guards, my lawyer, me, the FBI, the president of U.S., the prime minister of Britain, the ruler of Japan, the ruler of all of the other countries, and my insurance? Good enough for you, mutt?"

"O.O Uhh…I'll...pay…for it….." Joey stammered.

Kaiba smirked. "Good. I guess you know how much it costs, or are you too dumb for that, mutt?"

"Uhh….439,472,263 yen?"

"Nope. 439,472,26_4_ yen."

Shizuka was nearly popping out of her shoes. "How are we going to pay for that?"

Joey's mouth flew open. "W-what? How am I going to pay for that much??"

"-- I just said that, Onii-chan…"

"Oh, whoops, sorry, sis."

"Well, you better think of something to pay me back, or else my guards, my lawyer, me, the FBI, the president of U.S., the prime minister of Britain, the ruler of Japan, the ruler of all of the other countries, and my insurance will all be suing you." Came Kaiba's icy reply.

"Well, you know what?" Jou asked, gazing at Kaiba.

"What?"

"If looks could kill, you'd be dead!"

Kaiba snickered at Jounouchi. "Really?" And with that, Kaiba started glaring at Jou.

….

STARE

STARE

STA-Blink

"Ha, I win." Kaiba said, in a voice with pride. "And you lose, mutt."

"Why, Kaiba!!!!!" Jou was clearly getting angrier by the second.

/ / Yugi? / /

/ Yes, Yami? /

/ / Can I please go back to our cave with small openings that is emboldened into the ground to get my puzzle back? / /

/ --…. Yami, it's called a house and the answer is no. Why do you need your puzzle anyways? /

/ / YES I DO!!!!!! Bakura might defeat me since he has his ring, and plus, Kaiba and Jou are giving me a headache!!!! / /

/ Sigh……You're just going to hurt someone…. /

/ / Oh, come on!!!! When I hit the lady who was trying to touch my precious deck, it was just an accident! / /

/ Sure, Yami. Sure….. /

Anyways, back to the story since I think that hikari-yami talk was a little long.

Malik's POV

They're still fighting….It's not safe to come out yet. Somebody has to calm them down….But that won't be me.

Regular POV

Well, to refresh your memory, Jou was glaring at Kaiba, Kaiba was glaring back, Bakura was having a you-can't-beat-me look, Yami was having the I'm-the-mighty-pharaoh look, Mokuba was having an Oh-no look, Shizuka was having an I-wish-somebody-else-was-here-to-calm-those-people-down look, I'm not telling you what Isis and Marik are doing or their face expression looks, and Malik had an I-need-to-get-out-of-here-FAST-before-Isis-finds-out-that-I'm-not-welcoming-the-baka-guests look.

Bakura's ring suddenly started glowing. Everybody forgot their troubles…except for Kaiba, who just stood there cursing….but, besides that…..

Bakura just stared at his ring. "Hmm…that's funny…"

"What? Let me see, let me see, I WANNA SEE!!!!!" Jou screamed, jumping up and down trying to see what they were so intrigued in.

"Onii-chan? It might help if you stand up instead of sitting down on the floor." Shizuka said reasonably. And don't ask me how Jou jumped when he was sitting.

Jou blushed. "Oh yeah, sorry about that…" Jou stood up and looked at Bakura's ring that was know glowing. "What's up with that?"

Bakura still looked at his ring. "Hmm…It only glows when another Sennen Item is here….and the pharaoh doesn't have his, right, baka?"

"Shut up, tomb robber!!!!" Yami screamed at him.

Then suddenly, a glowing stream of…Hmm...I need a synonym of light…. Oh, I'll just use the word light! Ahem So, like we were saying, a glowing stream of light came about, knocking everyone except Kaiba off his feet.

Jou: Hey! How come I get knocked off but Kaiba doesn't?!?!?!

Flaring Emerald: I'm righting a story, just deal with it!

And a chuckle came.

Then, a laughter came.

And after that, an evil laugh came.

And following the evil laugh, was the Crazy-psychotic laugh.

And behind the all famous Crazy-psychotic laugh was something like this:

"MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Weak, huh, puny pharaoh? My, my, tomb robber, easily as ever to throw off, aren't you. Some tomb robber. I guess the tomb robber's hikari couldn't stand it either. Hmm, the little puppy has fallen off along with his ugly kitty. Looks like the High Priest was the only one who could stand my power. But his brother is knocked right off. Very interesting."

Can you guess who that was? If you said Shadi, you're right!

Ha! Just kidding! If you said the famous Yami no Malik, then you're right! You win cookies! To claim your prize, scroll down to the very bottom when you're done reading this, press the "go" button, tell me how great my fic was, and press the submit button. All flames are used to melt Anzu to make Chicken soup with Anzu meat. If I get a lot of flames, Shizuka will join Anzu in the soup. Farewell, and don't forget to claim your prize!

Okay, back to the story.

Yami Malik was laughing manically. Yugi, Ryou, Bakura, Mokuba, Jou, and…Gah…too many people….Everyone except Kaiba was flat off his/her feet.

"Well, know, how are you doing, weaklings?" Marik laughed. "Oh, doing some push-ups, are we?"

Malik's POV

Oh great….If I guess right, that laughter belonged to my yami…Oh, great.

Regular POV

"That's enough, Tomb Guardian!" Yami said, jumping to his feet. "Why did you come here know instead of earlier like the rest of us? Yami inquired.

"Well, I live here, and Isis asked me to give you this note while she goes and fixes something." Marik handed it to Yugi, who was brushing himself off. "Apparently, she really needs to know this."

Yugi sighed and opened it. Inside it said…….

* * *

Ha! It's a cliffy! A sort of a deranged cliffy! But unless you want this story to be updated in a few years, than REVIEW!!!!

Oh, and, plus, I'm not going to do ShizukaxKaiba since it doesn't work out. I'm definately going to do JouxMai, but, other than that, there's nothing garunteed.

And don't forget to claim your prize! And just incase you skipped that part; all flames are used to melt Anzu to make Chicken soup with Anzu meat. If I get a lot of flames, Shizuka will join Anzu in the soup.

And answer to reviews:

Cecilia DevilAngel: Yugi's all yours, I won't touch him! . I'm updating but I'm not sure if it qualifies as soon…..

Takura2004: I know! Stupid dubbers….I wonder what they're going to do when Kisara, Pries Mahado, Priest Karim, Priest Shadah, Priestress Isis and Shimon dies…..

DaRkNeSsApPrOaChEs: I wouldn't pair up MY Malik with _that_ person, don't worry! . Yes, I know Shizuka has nothing to do with Malik, but, just out of curiosity, what does she have to do with Kaiba, too? Shizuka's stupid in my opinion and she officially disappears after episode 145, so, you know, she's gone. Woo-hoo!

Chaos-Magician011: I know! And Amelda-I mean Amista… (--) – VALON'S, and Dartz's voice totally stink….

Leah: Totally agree. Way too many silent shipping fanfics out there….SetoxShizuka is stupid, can't they see that Kaiba never spoke to Shizuka?? --

KittyKayla: I'm glad you liked it! Hmm….IsisxYami is a cool pairing….I might do that!

MaricksWife: cough It's not nice to read people's cough…..I'll try to make Malik survive! (Malik: What do you mean _try to?_)

KarlaBob: Oh yeah, Kaiba does have enough money….Haven't I seen you before yet?...Ahaha! UPDATE YOUR SLEEPOVER FIC RIGHT Uhh…Pretty Please?

And thanks to anyone else who reviewed! Love ya! Just do it again to make me happy! Bye!


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